oh and by the way! the boyfriend i wrote about on the first post! he is now my fiance! we have worked everything out and our relationship is better than it has been in a long time! i love him i truely do! over this ruff holiday time we went through a lot of stuff and found that we just dont want to live with out each other!!!!!!

Ok so i have to go take a shower now lol! but the thing is is i live in a dorm so its like nastier to take a shower than it is to not! lol! but no i really need one i need to wash all the sick germs off and go to walmart to by food and medicine! i wish there were chairs in the shower so i can sit and shower! i have to bench like things on each end on my big as very own shower at home i miss it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! big time! belive me once i go home or get un sick these post will get better i promise! k! shower time nananana na na cant touch this! lol!

Q

i cant sleep my body is aches

i have realized that i alienate myself, and i have recentally alienated myself from life altogether! i fear that if i do not leave this room soon i will die quickly and in this bed1 i havent eaten! im not really hungry well kind of but it doesnt matter i have no food and no energy to leave and get food!

i want to die because i hurt so bad emotioanlly and physically, metiforically and literally dying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so much bad stuff is going on w/ me and in me right now

iduegfhkiejfkxmekuifhdsjamhajkesdnajkdnhm,ejdewl

im done

p.s sorry for any and all spelling mistakes i have made and will make if there is a future! i can not spell! k thnx

Ok so this is like my 4th xanga but whatever, it probably wont be the last either! i change alot! and i also use exclamation points alot! i use to say my excuse was because everything i say is important, but now its just a habbit! i also have live journal and my space

www.myspace.com/marQ

so anyways im really upset! my boyfriend and i are having problems or should i say im having problems w/ him! i really love him i know i do, but i think im just getting tired of him and i also dont know if he is who i want to spend the rest of mylife with! i dunno i know im young to be thinking about that but i mean im really for having a long term relationship and not ending it! im not saying i want to start a family and get married right away i just am tired of looking and like being in relationships! i dont like frivalous dating and what nots! and until december i live three hours away! and i come down almost every weekend and he has come down once! plus lately it seems he never wants to talk on the phone! im alone and sick right now w/ the flu and all i want is for him to comfort me and he says hey im buying ringtones or something else can i call you back! so tonight i said enough! i told him no he can not call me back! anyways im really mad and we didnt even discuss it! i want to like beat him in the head sometimes and be like hey your in this relationship too! its like he is there for the good stuff and not the bad and im doing most the work in this relation ship! aaaaaaaagggghhhhh!!!!!!!

also i am sick w/ the flu right now! aaaagggghhh!!!

also my cell phone got stolen! aaaaggghhh!!!

im home sick!

and that another thing i hate this college and alot of the people here i feel very alone and some what sufficated! it sucks! i just want to go home! and to top it off there is like high school drama here! i befriended a girl wrote a paper for here one night when she was drunk and know she is talking behind my back! and not doing a very good job at it! because i have caught her everytime!!!!!!!!! anyways that is enough for tonight because it is like 2 30 here and my fever is getting worse and my head aches so its time for sleep!!!!! or downloading more movies and stuff!

g nite

Q